Do you ever remember a movie from years ago? Remember how much you loved the soundtrack? (Seriously- kick ass soundtrack) Remember how it shocked and moved you?
Then watch it again and realize it’s actually nothing like you remembered?
I think I was drunk and high the first go round.
So my dad loves weird movies, hence- I’ll usually give them a try. I remember him calling me. You gotta see this movie. It’s so good. A refrigerator goes after an old lady. Uh ok dad, sounds awesome. So I rented it and watched. This had to have been 2002?
I watched. I remember being intrigued. I still remember that soundtrack!
Apparently I forgot how bad it was.
A few years later I told my daughter, hey you should watch this movie.
Last night everyone was on their phones. I told my husband I’m going to watch a movie. And there it was, on Netflix: Requiem For a Dream.
I ran in and told D, hey that movie I wanted you to watch years ago is on. Then told my oldest (she’s days away from 21, so of age….but still.)
I watched the first little bit alone, then he came and sat with me.
It was a little bit corny, a little more realistic and a lot more terrifying. My husband kept saying uh, you think this is a good idea? Well I gotta finish it now.
And that music…..
If you’ve never seen it, it’s a wild one. Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, Ellen Burstyn and Marlon Wayans are people that each plummet into their own addiction hell. The movie is split up into seasons. During the summer they are having a blast, by the next winter…well I won’t spoil it but….
We cringed, I covered my eyes, I was appalled. My daughter watched it in her room so she was about 30 minutes behind our viewing. Uh your dad is really freaked out that I told you about this, maybe you should turn it.
Young adult roll of the eyes. Mom I’m finishing it. Ok well its about to get really bad, so just know it’s been years since I’ve seen it so I didn’t remember it being quite this bad.
Ugh it makes me more grossed out by these kind of people. People acting like they don’t have a choice. I understand daughter, but you know I feel different. I have a heart for them, but I get it, cause I’m still pissed at my mom, even after all I’ve been through.
She said someone on my FB claims to be an addict. That she shared a post saying addiction is an epidemic, compared it to cancer. It’s not cancer mom. It’s a choice.
Well how about I just tell you how the movie ends? No, I gotta see if he dies in jail….ok then.
I left her alone but was back in her room just as fast. I get it, I see your point. No it’s definitely not cancer. At any time an addict can come to themselves and turn around. No one can just drop cancer. And yes, I can choose to get up and go to mom’s tomorrow, or choose to take care of our home and our business. So you are completely right. But it’s not my choice to be an addict. What would happen if I drank a beer? You wouldn’t stop.
Right.
Maybe that’s what they mean by no choice? It’s what I would mean. I’d love to sit out by a bonfire and drink with your dad. I’d love to occasionally have some stupid mindless fun. But I make a choice not to because I wouldn’t stop till everything fell apart.
In the middle of it, if you choose the wrong path, you lose your chance to choose. You just can’t see a way out without fighting.
So the movie was horrible (still intriguing!) and made my family uncomfortable. But it opened some dialogue.
At the end I looked at my husband and said and that sir, is why you don’t do drugs.
That soundtrack though!
The Hope Filled Addict 