Obsessions or Loyalties 

My brain doesn’t work like others. After living with it my whole life, I’ve accepted it, and I actually like that I’m a little different.

I’ve said before that I’m loyal to the same things I loved 20 some odd years ago. It takes a lot to get me to open up to something new. 

My TV stays on Investigation Discovery. If I could pay for just this one channel, I’d cancel all the rest. If it’s a rerun I can tell you who lived and died and how it happened. I spoil every show for my husband. (He really doesn’t appreciate true crime like me.)  When they play the few shows I hate, I flip my fancy new TV to the app and pick my own. Loyal to my channel.

My daughter bought me the best gift ever. I drive an older model car (it was free) that doesn’t have an aux hole. She bought a lighter adapter. That means I can hook up my phone and play MY songs through the radio. New stations pretty much suck, and I’m just a better DJ. I do have a few newer singers I like but mostly I listen to older music. Loyal fan and all. (When my husband rides he wants country….yuck! I’ll smile and say yay but….just yuck.) Loyal to my music.

In keeping with my line of staying loyal to who I am, I never buy new clothes. I like what I have. I don’t do lipstick unless it’s chapstick, and I’ve worn heels once- for a wedding. I HAD to being the maid of honor and all. They were on my feet for the service, then never again. I’m a jeans and tshirt girl. I live in the south and every other female wears sandals and fancy stuff. I just go in my kids closet and grab their Vans or Converse and I’m ready to go. Loyal to my brands.

When we eat, I’ll definitely try anything once, but only if it’s on your plate. I order the same thing at Waffle House, Red Lobster, Longhorn, Captain D’s any place…every time. I always get a menu, take 20 minutes to look over it all, wait till my husband starts rolling his eyes then say fine- you know what to order for me. Loyal to my food.

My friends are the same as when I turned 15. We don’t talk as much, but I still refer to them as my best friends. And if they ever needed me, I’d be there in a second. Loyal to my friends.

I grew up watching the most important people in my life stand behind a camera and shoot. I once sold every piece of jewelry to buy my own camera. Photography is my passion. (I’ve let anxiety and fear keep it out of my hands, but just you wait, one day I’ll pick it back up.) I can flip through photographs for hours, you literally have to tear me away. Loyal to my passions. (When I’m not scared.)

I’ve grown up in church. Through the years, I’ve not walked in what I believe to be right, but I still trust it. I’m a firm believer of prayer and the one thing I have is faith. (You only have to have a mustard seed amount anyway.) Loyal to my belief system.

I’ve been with the same man since he was a boy. I’ve put him through craziness with my addictions, but I’ve never strayed. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone but him. Our kids are awesome. They really are. I wish they knew how proud I was of them. I am extremely loyal to my family when I’m walking down the right path.

If we go on a trip, I will go if it’s to the beach I want. And I will talk you into staying at the same hotel that I’ve went to as a kid. It’s my home away from home and I’m comfortable there. You can have a fancy high rise. Give me the deck that I used to sit on with my papa. Loyal to my spots.

My husband has learned to deal with my quirks. I get extremely nervous about doing new things. What if I can’t wear my tennis shoes?? I never thought any of my loyalties were anything different until I’ve watched it through my kids. I have 2 that obsess on things. I try to tell them why can’t you try something new? My husband looks at me like who are you?

The other day I heard a lady on talk radio. The topic was “what is a main attraction of our town you’ve never visited.” I’ve lived here my entire life and didn’t know half the places people were calling in about. Apparently there’s a huge world outside my hideout. Anyway- the lady said I’ve made a New Year’s Resolution to visit one new place a month. She said it’s the only resolution she’s ever been able to keep. It can be a new park, a new (to you) tourist spot, even a new park. Just something new.

I’m totally trying this. My husband works 6-7 days a week, but surely I can cram some new stuff in our life. 

I found out from that same radio show, I live about 2 hours from a safari. A SAFARI….in the south. I’m sure it’s not a uppity fancy safari, so I’m pretty sure I can wear my kids clothes and fit right in. (That sounds weird- my son has skate pants, and I’ll grab any t….and I’ve already explained my shoes.)

For our anniversary we went to the same of state parks we’ve went to for a million years. BUT we walked a new trail. Went down a different side of the waterfall. We didn’t follow the crowd. It was a tougher hike but we had a blast and found out the huge waterfall we’ve seen over and over turns into a beautiful lazy river. I would’ve never known…if we hadn’t tried something new.

I like my loyalties, they bring me comfort. But they do lean to the extreme of obsessions, I see that now. But I think I’m ready for the challenge of seeing new things. Maybe I can just be just as loyal to new things.

Hideout

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