Music is My Life, Music is My Trigger 

​I’m a loyal music fan. I still love the artists I grew up listening to, and I love 99% of the music I hear.
I’ll go to my grave loving Eminem and Kid Rock. I don’t mind seeing them get older, I’m aging too!

But in all seriousness, I have to watch myself when I’m listening. I listen to YouTube 24-7. I can choose my song, radio stations suck.

There are certain songs I absolutely play when I’m at my worst: anything by Rehab, the early Eminem albums, Habits by Tove Lo and a few others. If I’m playing these, my husband is leery- with good reason.

It’s so strange what things will take you back to the worst places.

I think my mom was the same way. I remember watching her drink and sing Patsy Cline all the time.

An artist my husband really likes is coming to our area for a concert. He really wants to go. I’ve told him, go! Take everyone you know, but I can’t do it! His cousin is in recovery too, he’s going. Why can’t I? Cause I’m scared.

I never know what will flip that God awful switch in my brain. 



10 thoughts on “Music is My Life, Music is My Trigger ”

  1. I love music (as I’m listening to some relaxing/meditation music right now!). It can help with my moods. For the longest time I was listening to Country Music because I enjoy really listening to the stories they tell. But it’s typically the same songs over and over. Now I’ve changed to a local Rock station that plays Metallica, Evanescence, etc. (Wait – epiphany!). I re-activated my Pandora account because I like the variety. Tangent, sorry…

    Suggestion: Stay away from “trigger” songs; find songs related to recovery. Many artists have them, if you really listen. I find that Metallica and Evanescence have some songs related to recovery (or I relate them to recovery, or so I think). Another tangent – I’m going to make a playlist of recovery songs for my blog (** scribbles, yet another to-do**).

    Last suggestion (I promise): Fear is normal but until we tackle our fears, we are still a prisoners of our addictions. I look at it two ways: either trust your instinct right now and don’t go; or attend a concert with a sober friend asking how they get through it.


    1. I try to do country but I drank too much with them lol. I have an aux cord and just play YouTube, no skipping songs for me.
      I do really like Evanescence, a recovery list would be awesome…awesome.
      And I’m grateful for ANY suggestions, they are helpful! If my husband’s cousin goes, I’ll consider it cause he’s in recovery. But if not I’m skipping….hate it but it is what it is

      Liked by 1 person

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