One of my flaws, and I still have many, is that I obsess over things or ideas. Then I get bored and move on to a new one. My poor husband. He has to hear all these brilliant things I want to do, or will do. He just smiles and says yes that’s great….because he knows it won’t last.
Somehow I’ve managed to not get bored with him. We’ve been together 23 years.
My latest goal has been to move to the beach. The way I look at it is this, God made so many beach towns. Surely there is a spot in one for me. Why do I have to be stuck in the state I was born? How do thousands of people just pick up and start over, but for us it’s impossible…
My husband has tried to explain the reasons over and over, but I have a comeback for each no we can’t.
I’ve said before how I’ve turned to prayer for every need. But I still don’t have my beach home.
Something I’ve learned in my prayer journey is your heart can change.my desire is to get to the beach. My dream is to live near water. But if it’s not God’s desire, I don’t want it anymore.
Who knows what God is protecting me from, by keeping me in my town? My husband has said IF we ever move, we’d stay in an apartment first. What if I move next door to a neighbor that has access to medicine? What if I was surrounded by alcohol on all sides? Would I fail? Could I stay sober in a beach town. Especially since some of my best partying memories happened right on the sand!
I’m learning some prayers go unanswered for a reason. Did I really beg God for a beach house? No…
But I did slide it in here and there, just as a suggestion.
I found the weekly photo challenge on Wednesday of this week. And I made myself walk out of my house and drive around my town. And I actually looked around. I’m lucky to be here. I live in a cute town that is full of history. Within my city are little unincorporated spots. I’m in on of those. We moved multiple times when we got married, my husband bought our first house when we were 20. He knew when that town was about to go downhill. His goal was to get our kids in the best school possible. So that’s what we moved here for, my oldest was in Kindergarten when we moved where we are now. And he was so right. Not long after we moved we drove through our old town. It was a depressing site.
We are probably the poorest people in our current town. But we get by. Our needs are met (I’d like to go back to work….but waiting on God – still.)
God is answering this prayer by changing my heart. Letting me see and actually be grateful for my spot. Right slap dab in the middle of the state. Hundreds of miles from any coast. (I am 20 minutes from my uncles lake house….actually it’s a lake shack, but it’s near water and I love it everytime I get to go. I would live in a box on the dock.) He is showing me that He hears me but He wants me right here. I don’t know why, but He does. I’d rather Him answer my prayers by giving me my needs than solely what I want. My feelings and my wants may lead me to trouble.
That’s the funny thing about prayer. Your allowed to pray for things you want, God likes that! But your answer might be that God just needs to change your mind and heart.
I heard yesterday people focus so much on feelings. God is true and THE answer whether you feel like it or not. God doesn’t say don’t sin, unless you feel like it. No way. If you feel like sinning, pray about it. God may change that feeling.
So thanks to that little photo challenge on WordPress for showing me my town. And thanks to God for not answering that prayer, for whatever His reason is.
As just a teeny sidenote….my husband has been called to work out of town. The last time he was gone was when he left me. We were in a totally different place than we are today. I’m surrounded by 5 other states. In each state there are thousands of cities. My husband was called to work in the state I had picked out. He is in the city beside my chosen beach city. He has seen the school. He has seen apartments. He keeps sending me pictures. Is he there for a reason? I don’t know….I can’t predict the future.
I do know I’m at peace in my home. I know I have the ability to make my house a home again. I let it go downhill in my addiction. I know that I’m okay here around my family. I’ll also be okay if God allows the change near the beach.
If God doesn’t answer every prayer don’t get discouraged. You can ask for peace and contentment for the place you are right now. And you may find that you are right where you are supposed to be.