I prayed so much before I started writing here. Please let my words explain how horrible and scary addiction is. Please let my words help someone somewhere, even if it’s only me.
When I was coming off buneprohene, subs, suboxone, subutex….I searched everywhere for an answer. Half of the doctors said wean off, the other said just stop. Youtubers told me how horrible it would be. Websites told me it was worse than coming off regular pills. The last thing I ever read said only 5% of people are able to come off.
I was terrified.
I knew I’d never make, based off those readings. Since my husband had left me I grabbed my sister and held tight to her, but only through text. The only thing I knew to say was pray for me. She’s a prayer, big time.
She told me close the websites and started sending me verses. I would write them down and tape them around my room. I laid in my floor and cried. God I don’t know what I need, but You do. God, I can’t do this. Didn’t you see those words? 5% make it out.
My husband wouldn’t standby while I told him he was wrong. He wouldn’t put up with the fact I’d resigned to stay medicated forever. In his mind we were done. I needed him back.
God was waiting for me to give it all to Him. God was waiting to help me. God was the only One that could give me true peace and comfort. That type I’d been looking for in the drugs and alcohol. God had been my answer all along.
How did I get there?
Days and days of nonstop prayer. Let me get through this minute. I did it! Can I please go through one more? Those minutes added up to days.
August 21, 2016 was my first day completely off. Keep in mind I quit drinking in 2014 and pills in 2015. Each had his own issues but none were horrible to put down. In fact it was a release and freedom I’ve never known.
There is hope. A real, true hope.
1 Corinthians 10:13King James Version (KJV)
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
That isn’t my words, that is Bible. HE says He will give you an escape. HE will.
Addicts need to be waiting and watching for their own escape. He told you He would give it to you, and when He does, it’s up to you to run towards him.