This is not my first blog. I started a few during the dark parts of my addiction. Then started another when I began my recovery. I feel it is a good time to start over and go back to the beginning of my story. Maybe one day my story will help another. But for now, I’m satisfied with this helping only me while I sort this out.
Today I love my life, but it wasn’t always like this. There were times I wanted to die and times I tried. I felt worthless and had no hope. But those feelings have been replaced. Life isn’t perfect now, but I deal with it better. A few days into my recovery, I had a family member pass away. The first time I saw family in years was at his funeral, but I made it through and stayed sober. I stayed in a self made cocoon for years, hiding from everyone. I’m glad that is no longer the case.
I’m 39 years old. I am a female. I am a mother of 4. I am a wife, and have been for 23 years. I am a sister. I am a daughter of an addicted and alcoholic mother. I am a daughter of an addicted step dad. I am a daughter of an alcoholic dad.
Miraculously I made it out. It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t easy. But I’ve made it. I am the person that my mother always intended to be. But I’m on no pedestal. I was lucky. God showed me an escape and I ran towards it like crazy.
I have no shame for where I’ve been, only goals for where I am going.